Posted by Gwyn MacDonald
I’m watching a sparrow take a bath in a small puddle at the base of a majestic sycamore tree in one of my favorite parks in the city. This little spot is lush and relatively quiet with crepe myrtle and southern magnolia in full and heady bloom.
I’m filling the well in this moment (Thank you Judy Moon!). Observing, listening, breathing. Recently I’ve noticed that the well, also known as my reserves of energy, creativity and power, was severely depleted. I had given out all I had and didn’t have any back up, for myself or for others. Not a nice place to be.
I have always been one to give out more than I take in. I would get a bit worn down but back on my feet fairly quickly. Not this time. I knew it was bad when I realized I was getting angry with the people I love the most when they needed something from me, even the smallest request.
Red flags waving wildly now! PAY ATTENTION!
When a friend said she was going on a yoga retreat, every cell in my body said “I WANT THAT TOO!” Seriously.
So…I’ve quit my job and am off to Fiji tomorrow. HA! Sounds fun but not in the cards at the moment.
Not long after coming to terms with feeling totally worn out, I had a day long visit with a dear friend I have known all my life. She and her late husband were like a third set of grandparents for my brother and I. But the kind of grandparents who are really true friends. We had a simple, fresh lunch and talked for a few hours about life and art and meditation and “filling the well” did come up. And my friend said, “Oh yes! You have to feed and nourish your core! Otherwise you are no use to anyone, especially yourself.”
I gave her a massage and let the hour or so of deep quiet engulf me. Her home surrounded by thick woods, the mountain laurel in full bloom and a soft breeze gently pushing the trees back and forth was nourishment. What a gift.
Then on to an impromptu dinner with my brother, nephew and their three stellar dogs. Another gift. It was a short but so sweet visit as I had to get back to the city that evening. I had such a peaceful ride home, my brain and body softer and at ease.
The next day I felt as though my almost empty tank had been filled to the 1/4 mark. We can make it anywhere on a 1/4 tank! I had let the day before flow in whatever direction it would. I didn’t stress that I had to visit everyone or get back to do this or that. I just let it be.
While some days don’t flow like I wish they would, I’m doing my best just to catch those moments I’m always talking and writing about, the ones that feed me, but somehow I had been missing.
Sparrow is back now for a little drink, a gentle reminder that even the simplest things can fill the well.